the journey changes you.
I just was talking about this the other day.
When I started off to turn photography into a career, I was scared, optimistic, and enthusiastic. But also ignorant. I didn't know anything about what I was doing. Kind of like a child watching his father shave. It looked important and fun at the same time.
As the time went on and I started to see the things I wasn't privy to. Licensing, rates, being used or assumed gifts. I remembered talking to other professional photographers and they all told the same stories. You'll lose the love you have for the art. It will just be tasks and let downs. I thought that would be bullshit.
How could it be? I'm doing something I love so much, for people I know and love, in an industry I know and love deeply. What could possibly go wrong.
Last year in February was when the hardest part of this career struck. It was time to start protecting my work, my brand and my integrity. If my work was good enough to be sending to national publications, it was time that I got paid for that. Not doing it would be disrespectful to my self as well as my industry and peers.
I found a photo of mine from a photoshoot that was not contracted through PR and was published without credit in a magazine. I contacted the restaurant, the PR and the magazine. The magazine was the only one to answer me. All I wanted to know was where it came from. Did they remove it from the website or was it given to them by the PR or Owner of the restaurant. The mag confirmed the PR had and I let them know the photo wasn't cleared for that and I needed to invoice someone for that. They wouldn't pay, the PR lost their minds at me going over their heads and the owner as well as a few other splattered my name across the city saying I was ripping people off. All I had asked was that going forward, if any new photos landed on anyones desk, contact me and have it cleared. If its major publication, yes I’d like my work paid for in such if its minor and credit is enough then that's cool too. I accepted that this was my own fault for allowing it to happen in the first place but I was stopping it now.
The truth was through that PR firm I was getting paid $100 a shoot maybe $200 if I was lucky. To shoot anywhere from 15-30 items/interiors/exteriors/headshots/lifestyle shots. Net somewhere around 50-75 edits, expected to give them by next day and then those photos would be sent out to every publication under the sun. And then I'd wait months for payment.
Soon after, I was a leper. My name was never used again in my work when it was used, on top of that through the grapevine I found out that the PR and that Chef had also been telling people NOT to work with me. In their exact words, "He's never getting fed again".
I had also stopped doing anything at all for free. My time, my gear, and my photos now had to cost something. But because every time I did something in the hopes of building a relationship for free it became expected of me. My favorite request from someone who had gotten 3 free shoots out of me, when I asked to be paid she says " Be reasonable."
Before I knew it, I was that jaded person. My self worth was in the shitter, my dream felt farther than ever, and my relationships were strained to a point that I even stopped leaving my house for anything but my side job. I no longer have the drive to shoot for fun. I always have at least one camera on me but they almost never get used. I hate what this did to me, but I also hate who I let myself become.
"The journey changes you, but maybe that's the point."
This year, I’m changing this. While I feel like there’s no where for me to turn here in Philadelphia. I realize my world is much bigger than this city. I can’t rely on my friends to pay my bills and support me. I love the ones who do so so much. I’ll be taking what I have out of the city now. I’m ready. I’ve got a car, and personality. My prices are good, my skills are better. Last year was a run to see how it worked at bare minimum. This year is time to make a bit more and grow.
